Stacey:” You’re a hot piece of ass.”
Ariane: “Where are Niagara’s Falls? In Nicaragua, right?”

Drunk guy at festival to Dilara: “Do you wanna run through the sprinklers with me? I promise I won’t fart on you!”

Random guy at festival” Why are you girls ignoring me? I’m like a lonely calf wondering in the desert”

Random guy at festival with SHIT tattooed on his left hand knuckles:

“Oh, I meant to get both hands tattoeed and say “gimme” Shit” but then I got too drunk and passed out so now all I have is shit.
What the hell are you laughing at? I am the classiest guy you have ever met. I polish up real nice when i want to”

Dilara about our festival style” “We are such chill queens. We are the Chill Masters”

Yoga private: “You know, I can’t really do criss cross appleasauce position with my legs when I meditate. It hurts.”

There was a boa constrictor on the beach. “What? You saw a beach stripper?”

F: “How am I instigating him?”
T: “you’re sending him photos of your naked feet!
F: “I am only foot flirting! -Oh now he’s telling you me he wants to deep throat my toes.”

Shelby:” Don’t take pictures of my face!”

On 4th of July:
” Do you believe in 4th of July?”
” I believe in barbeques and beer. Does that count?’

Car conversations:”Don’t worry, you’re not a whore, so we’ve got your back”

On privacy: Why don’t you let your phone show preview of your SMS when they arrive? “Oh, I used to date multiple people at once so I can’t show content on the screen”

Facebook stalking: “Who’s that? She’s hot. Is that a girl or a guy?”

Michael:” I just saw a sloth”
Chad:”I hate you and this vacation”

Dilara: “I miss you like Romeo misses Juliet.
I miss you like a fat boy misses cake. ”

​Michael to Shelby and I:” Wow, you girls really have no ass! I meant, you have a slim figure. Sorry, I really don’t know how to compliment women”
Blue Osa love notes:” I want to scissor your sexy calves”

Girlfriend: “So one night I took this guy home after the bar. I wasn’t really feeling him so I just wanted to go to sleep but he went down on me for two hours. It was like the universe just gave me a hug”

Lezah: “I don’t like this romper”
Me: “What? You don’t like rum fur?”

“I look like a piece of roadkill” Abram

Raquel to Lara as she braids her hair: “Have you ever French braided yourself? Oh and speaking of, May is masturbation month, and this week is clitoris week. Did you guys know that?”

About Vytas “Whenever I see him smile I indadvertedly do a Kegel” Anonymous

Me:” Are you flirting with my baby cousin on Facebook?”
Aaron:” Oh cm’on I’m just trying to generate content!”

“Goodnight sweetie! I wish we could be cute and cozy together like sleeping otters holding hands as they are rafting!” Dilara

“I can almost see your boobs but I don’t have my contacts on so you have very fuzzy boobs right now”

Shelby at 2pm in the afternoon:” Is that the sun or the moon up there in the sky?”
Me: “The sun”
Shelby:” You know, I took 5 astronomy classes and I still ask the dumbest fucking questions”

“So you went from being an ugly duckling to a model fucker?”

Lara:” Internet, why do you hate me?”

Girlfriend: “i spoke to my ex boyfriend last night”
Me: How is he doing?”
“His salary keeps getting higher”

Raquel on burning sage:” The first time I smelled sage I always used to think of hamburgers…then I would walk into a yoga studio and think “why do they want it to smell like hamburgers in here?”
Lara:” yeah sage smells like Thanksgiving”

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