A. about a girl in yoga teacher training: “She’s pretending to be all CARAMEL CENTER and sweet, but really, she’s super fake”

A. on breaking up with her ex: “I got back from that trip, I went over to his place, told him it was over, COOL AS A CUCUMBER, and handed him the Kleenex,”

A. on yoga teacher training curriculum: “I feel like I’m always being NEGATIVE NANCY, because I can’t seem to like any of this stuff”

Amanda on her date last night: “He really SCREWED THE POOCH by inviting me out for drinks twice and not for dinner”

Amanda on our Lululemon clothes trade: “How about we trade the pants for the top and we call it EVENS STEVENS?”

Me about my friend’s date:”I feel that he’s missing some cognitive part of his brain” Friend:”Do you think it’s because he’s Canadian?”

Gas station worker as I exit the restroom:”You’ve got the nicest legs I’ve seen in a while, I really gotta tell you that.”

Girlfriend: I spoke to my ex-boyfriend last night”. Me:”How is he doing?” She:”HIS SALARY KEEPS GETTING HIGHER”

Do you know what I tell myself when I’m scared of something? “STOP BEING A FUCKING PUSSY. That’s my mantra.” Lara

Me to 93 year old Betty:” See you soon Betty.” Betty:” WHAAAAAT???? I LOOK GOOD?????”

Shelby at 2pm in the afternoon:” What is that in the sky behind the clouds? The sun or the moon?” Me:”The sun.” Shelby:” You know, I’ve taken 5 astronomy classes and I still ask the dumbest fucking questions.”


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