Growing over time allows you to observe behaviors, patterns and tendencies that make you unique and special. I could sit here all day and tell you about how I’m active, social bla bla..but let’s get to the details. What makes you interesting and memorable are the subtleties in your personality, your corks and quirks, not your overall traits that you would list on a gym waiver. The juicy stuff. Let’s embrace those qualities that set us apart and make us unique, and find people in our lives who will laugh with us about those imperfections. And if people are laughing at you and not with you, let them laugh. At least they’ll have stories to tell 🙂
For example, I am super active. But I don’t like to walk.
As my close friends will testify, I will go to great efforts to ensure I park my car as close as possible to the store/restaurant/post office. Even If I have to cirle around the parking lot a few times like a crocodile in a moat and stalk patrons who are about to enter their car. And give them the death stare while they apply lipstick and adjust their hair before getting out of MY parking spot. So yes I run for miles in the woods and then I refuse to walk to Whole Foods. I love the comforts of my car and the U.S. driving culture and big parking lots. ‘MERICA!!!!
I consider myself a very social person, but I love to be alone.
And especially eat alone. Even though in the Italian culture eating alone is considered to be a sad and undesirable occurrence, I’m so stoked when I get to be home by myself and enjoy a meal while watching an episode of Family Guy or America’s Next Top Model. That way I get to eat whatever I want, as much as I want to, chew as loudly as I wish and not have to talk to anyone. Ha!
I can backpack through Central America no problem. Move every week? Check. But a lot of people would still call me high maintenance.
I have to have my luxuries wherever I am. Like cozy blankets in the jungle and good smelling lotions while camping and painted toenails everywhere. And my toothbrush. That’s my ultimate must. I need to brush my teeth after every meal. That’s why I carry a toothbrush and toohpaste with me at all times. I’ll brush my teeth in the airplane bathroom during turbulence if I have to.
One thing I hate most is being forced into group activities.
Do not try to force me into participating to a sharades game. HOLDING HANDS IN A CIRCLE? FORGET IT. Thanksgiving at your aunt’s? I will resent you for a long time. Don’t even think about making me participate in your billiard tournament. No. No. No. Don’t make me go around a circle and say stuff. Ever. I stand my ground. I really don’t believe into forcing people to do things.Or insisting. Good to know right?
My meat eating habits are something that confuses people a lot. I don’t eat birds.
Because I think they are disgusting. The usual reaction I get is: “But If you hate birds, wouldn’t you want to eat them?”. No. But I eat steak. And pork cutlets and tenderloin. Appalled face. “So you eat red meat but not chicken?” OH MY GOD! But I don’ eat lamb, boar, elk, buffalo either. And I don’t eat meat at Thai restaurants, Indian, or anything else but a steak house. But I like rabbit. And I don’t need to explain why. I’m sure the meat conversation is long and drawn-out for everyone who is vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian. But seriously, who cares.
I also cant’ stand garlic.
Yes, I know. How is it possible that I am italian and I don’t like garlic?? It’s a profanity! It’s like saying that you’re American and you don’t like the U.S. flag for God’s sake! All I can tell you is that if you want to be my friend you can’t eat garlic around me.
That’s pretty self explanatory. I just love Hello Kitty so much. Did you know she’s 5 apples tall and weighs 3 apples?
Don’t feel pressured to act according to a preconceived notion of your quality. Like: “I consider myself social, so I really should go to that New Year’s Eve Party even though I don’t feel like it.” Instead,you should think “I won’t go to that overly expensive/obnoxious NYE party and I’m not worried about it because I KNOW I will be social when I want to be.”
Once you know your preferences, be proud of them. Don’t apologize or make up excuses. Don’t say “Sorry I can’t play mini golf because I’m tired and It’s too hot out and I’m broke and I’m really not that good at it…etc etc ” NO. Just be you. Don’t play mini golf because you think it’s ridiculous and leave it at that.
You don’t owe it to anybody to be consistent in YOUR personality. Yes, you should be coherent in your actions and be consistent in how you communicate because otherwise it will be difficult to have successful relationships. But you don’t need to be rational and logical in your personality because you’re human and part of being human is to be irrational and unexplained. Consistency in your personality is as boring as the girl on the cover of Cosmopolitan who likes lemon drops, the beach, puppies and date nights.
Not everyone is adventurous the same. Not everyone is independent the same. You could be adventurous but still be afraid of bugs and lizards and birds and bears (guilty). You could be independent but have your mom ship you cookies and deodorant from Italy (also guilty).
Just be you, outside the box. Be unapologetically you, be bold and shine.