What Should I Do with My Life? Update

Some of you have been asking about my plans, where i’m headed, and for how long.

I have to admit, although flattering that ya’ll are interested in my life and travels I don’t always love being greeted by “What are you doing here? I thought you left for good?” upon entering the yoga studio.

What am I even supposed to answer to that? :”Good to see you too?” And then the questions begin:” I thought you were in Costa Rica, how long will you be there for, and then are you coming back to California, and when, and for how long”

I get it, you want to know. And I want to know too. But the truth is that I don’t know what my plans are yet.

And I am not in a rush to figure them out either.

Hiking in Point Reys- Tomales Bay

Pierce Point Ranch in Point Reyes

In the past I used to freak out when I didn’t know what I was doing and spend all my free time being anxious because I didn’t know what would be next. Now I don’t anymore, because I have learned to value those few quiet moments of transition, when you still don’t know…and it’s okay.

This doesn’t mean that I am not hard working. When the momentum comes, I am usually on the go, taking every opportunity to work, to make money, to travel, to move. But when I get an opportunity to be quiet, alone and still….I take it! Those are few and far between.

So here I am in Marin County, housesitting, teaching yoga still, about five classes a week, and the rest of my time is being used with sleeping plenty (what a luxury!), reading books, doing my own yoga practice, gardening, hiking, suntanning, cooking ,playing with tiny white dogs and hanging out with few select friends.

And I am throughly enjoying it.

I am okay with not having more work because I am intentionally making room for something new to come. I am thinking about which direction I want my life to go.

Hiking in Point Reys- Tomales Point Trail

The stunning views from Tomales Point trail in Point Reyes, West Marin

For the past three years that I have been leading a more erratic lifestyle, with lots of travel and moving around.  I really enjoy the freedom of being rent free and having no long term commitments. I can be anywhere I want at any given time.

But there are downsides to the lifestyle too.

For example, I do miss out on professional opportunities a lot. Usually when I just about settled enough in a place to work my way into better gigs, like start teaching at this great studio, or get promoted, I am about ready to leave.

So I take my precious experiences with me, pack my things, and say goodbye.

With less work opportunities comes less financial opportunity as well, and more uncertainty in general.

But I have found that what I miss the most about not being settled in one place is a sense of community.

In Miami Beach I felt that I got to tap into a great community of young, fun, likeminded individuals, and I really enjoyed it.

Ever since then I have met extraordinary people, but in more fleeting ways. And at other times I have not felt ready or willing to delve into the local community because I knew I was going to leave soon anyways.

In order to build community, one has to be in the same place for a prolonged period of time. But It’s not enough to just be in one place. One has to be willing to build connections, reach out and participate.

Hiking in Point Reys- Tomales Point Trail

Tamales Point trail takes you to the very edge of the north stretch of coast. Worth the 9 miles hike! (round trip)

So I am debating wether or not I am ready to settle more permanently somewhere for the sake of building that community feeling around me and  for more financial stability, for the opportunity to save money rather than just get by every month.

But, where? It would have to be somewhere warm year round and that provides plenty of quiet and nature but work opportunities as well.

California is cold but has nature, Miami’s weather is perfect but lacks nature, Costa Rica has nature, warm weather but not as easy of work opportunities.  No place is perfect!

Or do I want to make it a point to travel as much as I still can BEFORE I settle somewhere more permanently?

I could try and work remotely so that I can still take advantage of my current lifestyle. Spend half the year in Costa Rica, some time in California, some time in Europe?

That actually sounds perfect to me, but on the flip side I am absolutely done volunteering abroad, work-trading, or just generally hassling to travel cheaply. I want to be retributed for my skills and live a comfortable lifestyle (to be precise- I don’t need AC or TV, but I don’t want to travel in chicken buses either if you know what I mean). So because of those new boundaries I’ve set I am narrowing my options of things I can do, which means I’ll have to look harder and find more quality opportunities.

These are all the various options I am considering at this moment. This is an exciting opportunity I have and I am looking forward to the possibilities.

What about you? Have you ever been at a similar crossroad?

Any advice is appreciated! 🙂

Hiking in Point Reys- Tomales Point Trail

The view from the old stables in Pierce Point Ranch

9 responses to “What Should I Do with My Life? Update

    • Thank you James! I kind of agree with you. Three years ago “unsettling” was a lot of work as I remember it! And my every decision back then was being influenced by being on a lease…..I wanted to travel for months, but finding submitters was always tough or not allowed where I lived. So I am very wary of putting myself in that situation again! So I really like your advice. And I also really like what you wrote on your blog: that you used to want the latest phone and gadgets, but now what you want most is to see the world. Very inspiring!

  1. dear Valentina :: I graduated from
    High school when I was 17.
    I graduated from college when I was 20.
    I graduated from Law school when I was 23.
    I moved to San Francisco when I was 24.

    I always wanted to be here and
    Live here and that is what I got!

    I am 61 now!

    I have traveled to more than 60 countries!
    I have seen the world!

    Don’t worry about figuring it all out now!!

    It evolves! My brother told me when I was 25 no body cares that much what you do before you are 30! Heck
    I don’t think anybody cares now much what you do at any age! We are timeless until we lose our health and vitality and you have those in spades!

    Take advantage of it all
    Because it is all here now especially
    In the Bay Area
    I have never seen a better place to be in all my travels

    The chances
    you have to learn
    live and explore
    teach and study
    share yourself and
    your skills and energy
    write and commune
    in the world at large are all here now !!!’

    There are so many more options available
    now to you than when I was your age!

    When I traveled alone in Europe it was before the Internet !!!

    I had to wait two weeks for a letter or a postcard … Such loneliness and isolation on road then!! Not now!

    Don’t think
    Ahead too much
    especially in your twenties!

    See the current film about Timothy Leary and ram dass playing at the Rafael cinema now

    Learn from their life messages !!

    Live from the soul
    not from your circumstances

    Hope this helps!

    Live large
    laugh lots!
    Love and hugs
    Lynda beth

    • Lynda, how did you know that the Bay was for you? Was it an AHA moment? Or did it come with time? I can’t figure out if “my perfect” place will feel like a total epiphany, or If I have had it under my eyes for so long and just always thought the grass was greener. Hahaha. I mean, I loved Miami, and I love Costa Rica. I definitely don’t see myself living in Marin all year round. But I do see myself coming back to Marin, say, gladly every summer. Maybe that could be a good place to start uh?
      And congrats on finishing law school so young! That’s amazing. Yeah I am 30 now and I am not too concerned about my legal age, just more about like you said, living with my soul and finding things I want to do. Your advice is priceless. Thank you ❤ Ps: Will check out the movies! Have you seen them?

  2. i alternate both…

    i have a place where i live my normal life… have stability and have the community….
    and when i feel the need to change and travel… i change and i travel

    downsides of this are… i cant travel as much as i want… and i cant be as stable as i should…
    but i couldnt live any other way….

    • Wow, that is an awesome concrete lifestyle you created for yourself. I dig it! And good point about still having to compromise. I guess that’s part of everyone’s life uh? We can’t have it all? I am not very good at compromising yet, ahaha. But I strive to create a lifestyle just like yours, where I can fulfilling most of my needs, even if not all of them all the time 🙂 where are you based?

  3. I have had similar feelings as you have expressed here. What I have learned is that it is okay to be on what I call a plateau- from here we can see where we have been and where we might go next, but to just be on the plateau awhile is fine. Most people feel uncomfortable there, stressing that they need to make the big decision, and cant wallow in between awhile. I feel that wallow in between awhile is okay and from there we can reconcile what might be our next path or place to settle down. You are ahead of many in that you have been okay with uncertainty and freedom, which many people have difficulty with. You may fear some aspect of setting down roots that may make itself clear as you explore that decision. Your Truth may be in freedom and travel- it may be some combo- not knowing for now is okay though. PEACE, Barry

    • Thank you so much Barry! What a great compliment you gave me. It’ funny because my mother would say that I am instead just wasting my time and not living a proper life! I guess culturally Italy is very different….more old school and traditional. So fro the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU! for recognizing that pausing at the plateau is beautiful, and helpful for gaining perspective….just like on a hike….one stops at a view point to check out the road already taken and admire the landscape! And yes…as the libra I am, a combo between freedom, travel and stability is what I am striving for…the answers will come! 🙂

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